Yo mama's so big, she had to call Sherwin-Williams to paint her toenails!

Did you hear about the scientists who crossed a porcupine with a sheep? They got an animal that knits its own sweaters.

There are 3 well known rings to marriage: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering

What do you call 32 rednecks in a room? A full set of teeth!

How do you know that the toothbrush was invented by a redneck? If it was invented by anyone else they would have called it a "teethbrush".

How was copperwire invented? Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.

Yo self-centered momma is so fat, the world really does revolve around her!

Yo mama so ugly, when she went to go rob a bank she didn't have to use no gun, she just reached her head over the counter and said put the money in the bag!!!!!

Man yo mama so fat she gots more Chins than a chinese phone book!!!!

Yo Mama's so ugly, two guys broke into her apt., she yelled "rape", they yelled "NO!"

Your momma is so ugly when she walks through the woods during hunting season she wears a sign saying "DONT SHOOT! FROM THE FRONT I LOOK ALMOST HUMAN!"

Do you know what a bad time is? It's finding thirty-seven rats in your salad, and then getting gas from them.

Who's Bigger? Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby? His baby cause he is a little Bigger.

Why was Cinderella kicked off the basketball team? She kept running away from the ball!!

For all you Blonde ladies out there. Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them

What do you call a man who put the toilet seat down after use? Don't know it's never happened.

Blonde jokes started when a brunette and a red head had to much time on their hands, because a blond was out with their boyfriends.

You might be a redneck if you think fast-food is hitting a dear at 65mph.

Q: What do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a sheep? A: A sweater with pockets

Your momma so old and fat when God said let there be light, he asked your momma to move the hell out of the way because she was blocking the sun.